Leading the People Pleaser Through Listening (Proverbs 18:2; 26:22-25, 27-28: 29:5)

The third difficult person is the people pleaser who is noticeably people-oriented as opposed to the task-oriented aggressive and complainer. He agrees with everyone. Consequently, the people pleaser is indirect in his difficult behavior. He creates negative conflict when he promises everyone what they want to hear. The result is unmet expectations because the people […]


Leading the Complainer Through Listening: Teaching Excellence Rather Than Perfection (Proverbs 20:9; 28:13; 13:14; 24:13-14)

Is the complainer in your life a perfectionist? If so, he, most likely, possesses a propensity to learn. Consequently, we can teach him how excellence, not perfection, is God’s design. Teaching excellence rather than perfection to the complainer means that we communicate how God intends us to manage our expectations. Proverbs, meaning generally true, most […]


Leading the Complainer Through Listening: Rephrase Absolute Statements with a Question (Colossians 4:5-6; Proverbs 27:9; 10:21; 14:8)

Questions generate answers, but statements produce resistance. Questions are imperative when leading a complainer through listening. Because he sees issues as black and white (right or wrong), the complainer fights to be right and is notorious for making absolute statements that leverage the words always and never. For example, “You never call me!” When we […]


Leading the Complainer Through Listening: Encourge (1 Thessalonians 5:14; Proverbs 12:25; 15:23)

Can you think of someone who has discouraged you? Now picture someone who has encouraged you. Here’s the big question. Which person resembles you? Encouragement includes the Latin, cor, which means “heart.” An encourager breathes life into the hearts of others. A discourager sucks the life right out of them. Encouraging is imperative when leading […]