Leading the Aggressive Through Listening: Ignore Insults (Proverbs 12:16)

What is your first reaction to an insult? Do you reciprocate or debate its validity? The aggressive designs and deploys an insult to generate a reaction — one that gives him control. When we do not react, the insult is defused. We must ignore insults, rather than immediately showing our annoyance. Solomon taught: “A fool […]


Leading the Aggressive Through Listening: Answer Gently (Proverbs 15:1)

Does the aggressive in your life ratchet up his tone to get what he wants? The aggressive will be loud, so rather than be intimidated by the volume, answer gently. Solomon said: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). A harsh word just adds fuel to anger’s […]


Leading the Aggressive (James 1:19)

Do you have an aggressive person in your life? The aggressive raises the volume of his voice in order to take control of the task at hand. The volume increases as the conflict escalates. He often sees victory defined by the axiom, “The loudest voice wins.” In order to take control of the person involved […]


Direct Difficult People Toward Wisdom like a Highway Sign (Proverbs 24:11-12)

After connecting, deflecting, and reflecting of difficult behavior, comes the directing. When the difficult person understands that we are engaged with his heart, he becomes more open to our suggestions. This is when we want to direct him toward wisdom. Often, this is most effective when we offer multiple wise choices. In one of the […]


Reflect the Heart like a Mirror (Proverbs 27:19)

When dealing with a difficult person, do you struggle to reflect that person’s heart in a way that communicates you understand his or her desires? Unfortunately, most of us rarely stay engaged long enough to get that far and see that deeply. Because so few people connect with a difficult person’s heart and even fewer […]